Getting Lost and Being Found

I get lost, a lot. Almost every time I leave the house in fact. I firmly believe Bilbo Baggins when he said “It’s a dangerous business…, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” I wouldn’t have the first inkling what it would be like to go directly from point A to point B. And I kinda like it that way. I “find” many things this way, and I usually end up hunting those found things down again so I can share them with my Lovelies. This kind of getting lost, is wonderful. The lost that leads to something uncovered, undiscovered.  We could all use more of this.

Then there’s the getting lost in my mind, my tasks, my plans. I do this quite often too. But the strange difference is that the aforementioned getting lost is freeing. It appeals to my inner gypsy, to that explorer who is too often feeling tethered by responsibility. But the getting lost that can happen in my own mind, in my own home is terrifying and imprisoning. I can sit down to do something (any small task or project) and suddenly be gripped with anxiety and fear, lost. When I think of Bilbo’s warning, I think it applies more truly to the flooding river of my mind than my front door. And I’m left with only one option, to pray. When I appeal to God in these moments, His comfort and peace come to me and I am humbled and grateful. But my prayer should really be about being spared from that kind of lost. God, please keep me found, let my mind not have the power to make me lost in it, swept away by all that there is to do, and plan. Amen.

Then yesterday, in all of the doing and busyness, my son lost his first tooth. He was traumatized for 15 minutes. The blood, the pain, the sound. It really freaked him out. When he recovered, he wanted to examine his tooth. And while he was looking at it, he dropped it in the car! The car!!! We had all just piled into the car after a day of swimming at the park, the car was a wreck. It was full  of towels, wet things, dry things, drink cups, shoes, school bags and detritus. And he lost his tooth in all of this. What is a mother to do? Pull over, gently remove every article, one at a time, out of the way. Lifting, shaking, jostling in the hope of finding a baby tooth in the mess. Talk about a needle in a haystack! But I found it. Somehow, 3 feet away from his chair, underneath a towel and a shoe.  And I just about bawled. Of course I was relieved to find the tooth, but I was relieved to think that if I (not all knowing and all powerful) could find that tiny little tooth in this mess, then God would never have trouble finding me in the ocean of my mind.  I will pray that God keeps me from getting lost in here, but when I do, I know that my God will find me, gently and sweetly and He will restore me and rescue me over and over again. I think it’s so strange the way God teaches us what we need to learn. Thank you Lord for letting The Boy lose his tooth, then lose it again, so that it could be found.

9 comment on “Getting Lost and Being Found”

  1. Bernadette O'Flaherty,

    Thank you soo much for this. In this craziness of my life that it is I always say that crocheting and my children are the only things that can help “ground” me. I believe God knew that I needed that. With my oldest daughter leaving on Sunday for the next 2 months going away for training for a new job (she’s 21 but not really grown up, lol) its causing an upheaval in my household with my son who absolutely adores her. He is only 9 and is very close to his big sis, so as you can tell I have been dealing with a myriad of emotions this week. Reading your story and seeing how the simple things can bring you back made me smile and also reminded me that once Gaby is gone I can then focus on Liam Richard and Shannon Rose and what will be their day to day “craziness” because there still will be plenty to deal with. LOL. Have a great day and God Bless.

  2. heidi,

    I’m “mindlessly”(f-the spelling) wondering myself,why it is that the most creative and talented people I know,seem to get lost from the living room to the kitchen;and,why a certain person I know needs to travel the exact same route to the local knitting store,or the train station,or even the same and only Barnes and Noble bookstore in the community,each and every time..much the same way a child avoids stepping on the cracks of a sidewalk,for that leap of faith time,in that moment of childhood,when she first begins to understand that something bad might happen if she doesn’t?
    My Mother(and I will always capitolize the m,for that reference) used to throw salt over her shoulder,took the local roads instead of the hwys,and had a panic attack if asked to go west,east,north or south in terms of following or giving directions,even though she drove a schoolbus every day to the same children’s houses nearly a year at a time. Let me offer this as a possible reason-
    we are so consumed with thousands of tiny and great(in terms of size)decisions on a 24 hourly basis,sometimes,that we have to concentrate on the stuff that’s the most significant(like,what’s the name of that merino alpaca blend in burnt orange,again?) Just kidding,sort of,really though,we have to save our mental data base for the important things we must do everyday,for our families,jobs,and everyone else’s needs that take precedence over our own…And yes,sometimes we learn very valuable lessons along the journey,as we are forced to take a moment,and just stop until we get it together,controlling every breath as it reaches the air. So,we should embrace it,and wait to judge ourselves lost or just slowly adapting to the possibilities of finding our way through some other means;be it God,or gypsies ruling the universe.I don’t know why,but a few lines from a song are going tocome from my multi-directional brain right now..”it’s not how long we travelled on our way,but what we found to say;it’s not the springs we’ve seen,but all the shades of green” Let’s just think of it as discovery,and darling,may the force always be with you,and the next time you get lost,give me a shout,I’ll take you there….as long as you don’t ask me how to get there,I am my Mother’s daughter.

  3. kim porter,

    so beautifully written and so honestly shared! How great is the love of our Lord that he cares enough for us to allow us to go through our trials so that we can grow and glorify Him!

  4. Shelley Ring,

    What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing. I get lost in my mind, too. Next time I know I’m going to sit down to a task, I’ll do just what you said: I’ll pray that God will not allow it. And if I forget to pray, I’ll rest in the comfort and knowledge that He will find me. Blessings on you today.

  5. Michelle Kovach,

    This is so sweet & touching. I love the way you write & I love how you put your heart into it. I love your perspective on the whole situation too.
    You truly are a gifted lady Charissa!

    Congrats to your little man on losing his first tooth!

  6. Jonna,

    Our children make the BEST tools for God to use to teach us and like you, I’m so thankful! What a great story and a cute cute kid!

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